Friday, November 19, 2004

why god created children

i LOVE The Incredibles
been so long since i've been to a movie and threw back my head in laughter
Monsters Inc. is still the best
and the american version of Taxi, is .. well, disappointing
will watch The Forgotten

am starting to take to lizards
believe they're scared shit of us
and i should stop feeling so terrorized
but no time now to elaborate on lizard story
though edna is always at the receiving end of my horror stories including The Licking Toilet and The Flying Lizard

just got this for the second time through email:

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students, here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can takecomfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.. we have forbidden fruit!!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.


"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and Hewas ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"


Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had troubleraising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk andtalk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shutup.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourselfthat there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.


Tuesday, November 16, 2004

eid mubarak

minal aidil wal fa idzin

do they really mean it?
it seems to be that it's simply fashionable to ask for forgiveness during eid
shouldnt we be asking for forgiveness from The Maker instead?
shouldnt we forgive those who've 'trespassed' against us within days, if not seconds?

i try, i really do
god knows how i try to forgive within seconds

what is also interesting are the wishes i got over the weekend
some i have perceived as good friends had not wished me a happy eid
why did i expect them to?
simply because i would have wished them "happy chinese new year"/"merry xmas"/"happy deepavali" etc

is that fair?

it certainly isnt an unfair expectation

and certainly not an unreasonable or difficult one

have had to revisit thoughts on some friends who bitch about other friends not being good friends blahblahblah
but are they good friends themselves?
are they able to be there for others as they wish others to be there for them in their time of need?

today is bitching day
bitch about some grievances

so we visited some relatives we havent seen in ages on sunday
went to some place called Gelang Patah
Broken Bracelet/Bangle in malay
so anyway
they havent seen me for ten years

"oh, so big already!"

i havent exactly been born a dwarf
nevermind that

when it was time to go,
"honour your father's good name ... "

what the fuck was that?
was that a goodbye?
you have not seen me in ten years, and you assume you can dish advices like that?
and what you deem honorable may not exactly be in my list of important honorable feats to commit
and who are you to judge what is honorable by my father's good name?

i HATE these disgusting old men

dont even try to tell me he meant well

he had some menacing, probably gross thoughts before he had to stop himself and HENCE dished out some piece of advice to ME

gross old, disgusting men

am also now fat from weekend festivities and stuffing face with beef rendang

also woke up in the middle of the night panting, almost screaming
that has to stop

also woke up depressed and paralysed

that too, has to stop

there are also starving, dying iraqis and children all over the world

must stop


and start writing zippy blogs again for good friends to laugh at