eid mubarak

minal aidil wal fa idzin

do they really mean it?
it seems to be that it's simply fashionable to ask for forgiveness during eid
shouldnt we be asking for forgiveness from The Maker instead?
shouldnt we forgive those who've 'trespassed' against us within days, if not seconds?

i try, i really do
god knows how i try to forgive within seconds

what is also interesting are the wishes i got over the weekend
some i have perceived as good friends had not wished me a happy eid
why did i expect them to?
simply because i would have wished them "happy chinese new year"/"merry xmas"/"happy deepavali" etc

is that fair?

it certainly isnt an unfair expectation

and certainly not an unreasonable or difficult one

have had to revisit thoughts on some friends who bitch about other friends not being good friends blahblahblah
but are they good friends themselves?
are they able to be there for others as they wish others to be there for them in their time of need?

ok
today is bitching day
bitch about some grievances

so we visited some relatives we havent seen in ages on sunday
went to some place called Gelang Patah
Broken Bracelet/Bangle in malay
so anyway
they havent seen me for ten years

"oh, so big already!"

i havent exactly been born a dwarf
nevermind that

when it was time to go,
"honour your father's good name ... "

what the fuck was that?
was that a goodbye?
you have not seen me in ten years, and you assume you can dish advices like that?
and what you deem honorable may not exactly be in my list of important honorable feats to commit
and who are you to judge what is honorable by my father's good name?

i HATE these disgusting old men

dont even try to tell me he meant well

he had some menacing, probably gross thoughts before he had to stop himself and HENCE dished out some piece of advice to ME

gross old, disgusting men

am also now fat from weekend festivities and stuffing face with beef rendang

also woke up in the middle of the night panting, almost screaming
that has to stop

also woke up depressed and paralysed

that too, has to stop

there are also starving, dying iraqis and children all over the world

must stop

victimising

and start writing zippy blogs again for good friends to laugh at