Saturday, February 26, 2005

nuisances

so ... went to little Ove's birthday party today. cute boy, round face, practised smile, easy personality and most importantly, quiet. not one of those with a worm in their anuses and screaming round the clock for attention. i hope my kids dont turn out that way. i might suffer from permanent post-natal depression.

was surrounded by kids. so many kids. and it was great! i mean, gotta confess that i'm not super comfortable with kids - am absolutely terrified of rejection. but ok, i've realised that a camera does many tricks for kids. they love themselves, of course. and digital cameras are god's gift to the narcissistic. you take a shot, you look at yourself. it sucks? delete it. pose, take another one. before i knew it, all of them were posing like runway models. one of them even pretended to laugh so i could get a half-laughing shot of him. it was brilliant.

i want kids. and if i can afford some, i'd love to have maybe three. if we can afford it, i'd quit my job to look after them and get a maid to look after household matters. aaaah, that would be the satisfying life. but would need to trust husband through and through. with father's cautious approach to people and assumption that all men are bad, his daughter has also turned out mildly similar.

then went to the night safari. in my tube top, corduroy jeans, bangles and hoop earrings so huge hamsters could fly through them. perfect wear for the night zoo. was completely looking forward to going to the night safari. however, a big mac, cheese prata and teh tarik can really change all that. i found myself rather looking forward to going home to sleep instead. being the babirusa that i am.

but heeeey, the night safari was pretty nice. something i wouldnt really do again for maybe five years, but it was nice. seeing animals in the dark with my major astigmatism problem was dope. my camera even started taking in green giraffes - major leaves reflection out there. and boy, was it humid. humid, humid, humid. 34degC and humid air does wonders for my skin. i get heat rashes across my bloody cheeks and nose and pimples erupt everywhere like Vesuvius. there were the adorable civet cats, the surreal slow lorises, the extremely-satisfied-with-my-10kg-of-meat malayan tiger, the attention seeking otters. the otters - my, oh, my are they performers. the night show host was trying to promote recycling. three otters came by to help. each of them picked out plastics, paper goods and cans respectively and put them all into the right bins. the can-otter picked up TWO cans, put them into the bin, went after the cans INTO the bin, then took them back out again - just to prolong his performance. he LOVED it. so did the audience. by the way, otters know how to clap. who knew?

by 2345, we were pretty psyched about going home. luckily the night safari wasnt as huge as i feared, and wasnt as small as i would have been disappointed at. it was ... just nice. but like i said, wouldnt do it again over the next five years. my best memories of the night safari? the otters and the tails of the babirusas - absolute-fucking-bloody-ly disgusting tails. i prefer pigs.

then off to ambrosia to smoke sheesha. while i admired eric's hand at drawing and wondered why the tablecloth reminded me of what my grandma would wear UNDER her skirt, i confirmed to myself that i am an absolute loner. i will probably die alone too. i cant change that, can i? i cant pretend i am sociable. i can be friendly, but i'd rather sit in a corner, watch, and be alone. when i was walking in the zoo, sometimes, i realised i trailed off on my own, or walked on my own and shermaine came up to me, "why are you walking alone?" gee - i didnt quite notice it. to be honest, i was pretty comfortable with that. five years ago, it would have pained me if someone asked me the same question. i would have gotten defensive. instead, i replied "havent a clue! didnt quite realise it." and at ambrosia, while others played cards or talked animatedly, i was contented with laughing at someone else's comments, watching other people or taking their pictures. ordered some fantastic escargot, drank something i didnt like and tried to keep my stomach in - i HAVE put on ten kgs and i'm trying not to make it obvious though i can no longer fit into my push-up bras and no longer need the asphyxiating suckers for unflattering tops.

and then my friend's sister, F, sends me a message. [brief history of F: F's elder brother is a very good friend of mine whom i love dearly. F's parents stay in malaysia but she studies in singapore and has been living with her auntie for some years now. F's brother called me to say that he needs a favour, that his sister, F, needs a place to stay as she can no longer live at the auntie's place. apparently due to emotional duress. how could one say no? F's brother said it was temporary till they renovated their new singapore home and he'd pay the utilities. i thought, "fuck, F talks too damn much." but i agreed. like i said, how could one say no? so F moved in. and F has very little sense of shame or consideration. and F had been fraying my nerves for some weeks till i said i didnt want her to bring her friends over anymore - i'm just too private and i'd like my own space at home. i also do not trust strangers walking in my house. of course i didnt expect these people to turn up at my place as she assured me she was not bringing her friends over and only bringing her boyfriend over "once in a while" when i brought the subject up the first hour she was at my home. it took barely days for her to shamelessly forget everything. and for her boyfriend to bloody stay over.

so, about the message F sent to me, "hey, my bf is coming over, can?" as i found out, it wasnt a question, she wasnt asking. her boyfriend was ALREADY at my place. i didnt know that at that time but i replied anyway, "OK, but he goes home."

now, how difficult would it be for an english-speaking person to understand "but he goes home."? she has the fucking shamelessness and sybaritic cheek to ask "ok, he cant stay over?"

what can i say to that? "you fucking bitch, i said bluddy NO, didnt i?" instead, i replied, "F, no."

so - it's now 0359am and F's boyfriend's shoes are still here, his van still in our private carpark.

this girl, F, is pushing all my buttons.

5 more times, and i'm telling her brother she has to move back to her auntie's which is NOT an option.

this girl just has no fucking respect for anyone else, has absolutely no control either. and she is barely much younger than i. absolute-fucking-ly unacceptable.

she needs to grow up.

i dont need to take care of someone else's affairs. but i want my own fucking home.

my own fucking space.


How to Annoy Your Housemate?

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