to she who stole my handbag

to the bitch who took my handbag
who took my handbag from under my watchful eyes
when i took a split second glance away from the bartop

to the bitch who took my handbag
when i was trying to enjoy a depressing night
hoping for a memorable capper

to the bitch who took my handbag
i hope you are happy at the events that followed
that a guy had a stiletto heel in his head

to the bitch who took my handbag
i hope you understand that a $600 handphone is not worth it
not worth all the blood on the lobby floor

to the bitch who took my handbag
get a fucking decent job
and bloody donate to charity

to the bitch who took my handbag
who spoilt for eight of us, an otherwise fantastic night
who missed the excellent glass smashing fight

i hope you realised i was faster,

that the credit card was cancelled within minutes,

that the phone ceased to work within seconds,

that no one, NO ONE can look like me on my ID

cos you may be quick

but honey, i'm smarter than you fucking are