133 days away

invitation cards
1/4 way through the design. alright, i'm lying. i'm in absolute denial. we've only finalised the size of the card and the font. and that's about it. but i'm blown away by the font. after looking at tens of (i couldn't bear to do hundreds) kitsch retro designs, vintage stuff, fonts, annoying websites, a chocolate wrapper finally did it. who'd have thought? i love it. ravi loves it. even our designer loves it. we love it. and this is about the only thing i am blown away by right now.

rings
called our ringmaker 3 weeks ago and never called back. i am a blistering idiot. i have not decided on my own ring design and have a nagging feeling i never might. i have not found a single ring design that blew me away. i want something simple, ravi wants a simple design. didn't think simplicity would be complicated.

dress
we have decided on our mod look. we're done with that, gown and tux are almost ready. ravi's set on his traditional outfit. and i'm undecided cos once again, nothing has blown me away.

why do i always need to be blown away?

photographer
ravi has left this one entirely up to me. see, i am no photographer, but i know what i like looking at. the one photographer that blew me away, blew me away with his pricing too - literally. i can't inflate our budget because i like only him. he who is twice more expensive than everyone else. i'm not willing to part with that much money, quite honestly. and so, i'm still looking. very desperately.

videography
undecided. do we really want a video? not like we'd watch it over and over again. that would be, sad.

shoes
holy fuckin' crap. who has shoes for elephant feet like mine? i want to be the groom, not the bride.

invitation list
why are people beginning to invite themselves to my wedding? why? WHY? why? they talk about what they'd wear to my wedding, and, er ... hello, who's inviting you again? we're only inviting 100 people, that's 100 people closest to our hearts and everyday lives. if you were close to us a year ago and no longer close to us today, please do not count yourself invited. there has to be a reason why we are no longer close. full stop. and stop asking me, "am i invited?" cos if you have to ask this, you usually are not.

but it'll all fall into place. right?

i'm in nerves and work's driving me nuts. not cos of the actual workload, cos of the people i actually have to deal with. i didn't know assholes were in abundance till i started working.

and my diet's going south. rather, north - of the weighing scale. swear the world is conspiring against me. the day i start watching my diet, people start GIVING me my favourite foods. not for one day, mind you, for the entire goddamn week.

i have a good mind to start starving myself and devote myself to god for another 132 days.

half-cooked perfectionists like myself always put this much unnecessary pressure on themselves. they're nuts and most likely on edge. i am nuts and am on edge. but trust me, i am having fun.

i worry, i worry if my guests will have fun on our wedding day. if they don't, i won't.

save the date, guys, and if you have the slightest feeling you are not invited, please just fuckin' stop harassin' me. wait for the card. and if you don't get one, chances are, you won't. i am very careful. i already have the entire family tree uprooting itself to gatecrash my wedding.