in between

it's a lazy saturday afternoon.

woke up this morning realizing that the ceiling light was still switched on, yesterday's papers were by my side all creased and abused, and i was half naked and very much unbathed in bed. i had fallen asleep reading the papers without first running to the shower. that's just gross. dragged myself to the bathroom and was even more horrified that my eyeliner and mascara were still very much in place. washed and scrubbed my face thoroughly and crawled back into bed.

and just laid there for 37 minutes, unflinching.

i am not sure what was going through my mind. i was just in a state of ... limbo. in between selves. i can't even remember if my eyes were open the entire time, or if i had closed and opened them.

it's a lazy saturday.

the nice Apple technician came by to fix my drive, finally, i can start burning CDs again and organizing the wedding playlist! but somehow, for some reason, i was uninspired. i felt so ... bored.

it's a lazy saturday.

i took out the Easy Off Bang spray and sprayed some into a jar cap. dipped a couple of cotton buds in and started polishing every single white key on the keyboard. again, i don't know what was going through my mind, if i was thinking at all. i am a blank.

it's a lazy saturday.

i can hear the dull dronings of an industrial drill in the distance. they're building. building, building so many expensive condominiums for yuppies yearning for a taste of a bourgeois lifestyle. and yet hundreds of units are still empty in singapore. and home units are still overpriced. those who do afford, choose homes a notch (or ten) above these buildings.

the leaves on trees around me are barely moving. it's 34 degrees Celsius. i feel drowsy but am resisting the urge to crawl back into bed and waste a good afternoon away.

i want to go to Borders, to collect my reserved copy of Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, but don't. i stay at home. the air is so thick with humidity, it takes effort to move.

i want to go out with friends to Cafe Iguana and treat myself to a couple of mango margaritas and beef chimichangas. but don't. the effort in walking to Clarke Quay feels Herculean.

i want to continue with the playlist but it's boring me.

it's a lazy saturday.

where this lethargy comes from, i haven't an idea.

but i have an idea. perhaps i should crawl back into bed and finish A Million Little Pieces, nap (an unusual thing for me), wake up and live the night like i should live the day. then finish off by starting The Historian.

boy, is it a lazy saturday.

and i just can't get my ass off this chair.