the hobbyist

1. do not purchase anything when on the phone.
2. do not attempt to cook anything without first learning how to cook it.

1.
i should have known better. there was something suspicious about the VCD/DVD/CD sale.

2 VCDs for $10/15/20?! 3 CDs for $10?! whoohooo!

was on the phone with Orni a.k.a. the yankee convert trying to calm her nerves pre-'date'-with'-redneck-Sven. called me at 0600am (eastern standard time) even before all the chickens were up and running. instead of heading straight to Watson's 'your personal store', i just had to lose focus (like every other moment of my life) and found myself smack in the middle of the mad rush over cheap VCDs/DVDs/CDs. as i chatted excitedly over the phone with Orni, i found myself browsing absent-mindly through all the VCDs/DVDs. found The Hours which i absolutely love. unfortunately, i just decided i had to get another one to enjoy the 2-for-$15 deal instead of just spending $9 for The Hours. there goes hours of bitching about other stupid singaporeans who buy into these marketing gimmicks.

ok, found meself two videos. i should have just paid and leave but noooooo .... with Orni still excitedly talking on the other line, i wandered off to the cheap(o) CD area. 3-for-$10?!!

dilly-dee-me: hey Orni, how come these CDs are only 10 bucks for three? they look really suspicious too, real inferior paper quality type.
Orni: haiyaaaa ... think made in China one.
dilly-dee-me: eeeks. think these are real?
Orni: usually they are, they just look worse and cheapo la whenever they are made in China.
dilly-dee-me: oh... wait, so today it's the museum, then next week it's the aquarium, right?

if i were not on the phone as excited as i was over Orni's first date in close to ten years, i would have read the fine print at the back of the three CDs i got. on normal days when i am not on the phone, i would have read the fine print.

"All tracks are re-recorded by various artistes in digital studio."

now i am stuck with a justin timberlake CD with some pre-pubescent voice straining his throat, TWO volumes of '48 Non-Stop Greatest Oldies" sung by the same guy throughout all 96 songs. i hope that at the end of his NON-STOP 96 songs, he dropped dead.

when i played these CDs, i was horrified. i felt like i was in This Fashion when it first opened up about ten years ago, playing all these fakies over similarly ching-chong speakers that were not well hidden. or some 'unisex' salons owned by those ching-chong aunties with permanent red perms and permanent surf-wave fringe at the front.

am now thinking of donating these to the uNisex salon i used to go to when i was 4.

2.
though my friend Edna thinks i am a Domestic Goddess, i must immediately bring this story to her attention. i suck at curry cooking, OK? my spaghetti bolognese may be a killer, my pancakes may melt in your mouth, my fried ayam may be to-die-for, my telur-mata-lembu may be perfect circles and my english breakfasts may be to wake up for but i cannot cook curry to save my ass. OK, have never tried cooking the national dish of India and Britain before but i just had to be a hero(ine) and try to cook curry, very well knowing i do not know how to cook curry.

hey, only takes common sense, right?

right.

i didn't even have all the ingredients. i now have a whole pot of curry that tastes more like powdery curry sauce. i have tried everything, adding more water, adding coconut milk, adding more water, adding sugar, adding everything i think the curry lacks. i have a can of tomato paste in the fridge that i think should go into the hell pot, but i think, hey ... while we're at it, let's throw in Carr's Table Water Crackers, Loacker's Quadratini's, pasta, Nutella, St Dalfour's Strawberry Jam, Balsamic Vinegar, everything on the kitchen top.

am off to Times to get meself the Kerala Cuisine recipe book.